31 days of moving on: Day 4 – Learn

Joining in with 31 days of five minute free-writing. Here goes:

Learn

I’ve got a lot to learn. Everyone has. Me in particular? A lot. Like how to not put everyone else first and my self last. That’s difficult. How to forget. How to forgive (I’m working on that one, God, I promise). How to live gracefully. How to be a good role model when, sometimes, some whole days, I just want to crumple up and scream until I have no voice left [I don’t ever want to end up like the depressed mother in About a Boyheaven help me; my fear of precisely that – failure condensed! – is, I think, what keeps me crumple-free!]. I want to learn how to be, simply be. To not be striving or struggling or racing or stressing or ‘x-ing’, just to be. Be content, be happy, be aware – in every moment – how I feel, what’s happening in my environment (not inside my head), what’s around me that’s beautiful or that I could learn from. It’s hard, this life business. Bloody hard. No-one ever tells you that when you’re little (if you were allowed to have an ideal childhood). I’ve come a long way. But I’ve still a way to go.

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4 thoughts on “31 days of moving on: Day 4 – Learn

  1. I’ve got a long way to go, too, friend. 🙂
    http://strikingrepose.blogspot.com/

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  2. Lizelle says:

    i’m sure he understand, heck I’ve been working on that forgiveness bit for so dang long m’self <.<

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  3. Give yourself the time you need to forgive, this is part of acknowledging the part of you that was not noticed for so long. It’s hard when you never had “putting yourself first” as a value growing up. It was only a couple years ago I encountered self-compassion! What a concept. I just wasn’t introduced to it. I’m so glad I did 🙂

    Like

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