31 days of moving on: Day 10 – Care

Joining in with 31 days of five minute free-writing which, today, coincides with Five Minute Friday.

Here goes:

Care

I’ve heard people say, “You care too much”. I always smile to myself when I remember those times. How can someone care too much? Is there a set amount of care we should devote ourselves to, and then after that, it’s too much? I’m a person who gets affected – deeply affected – by wrongdoing, by witnessing injustice, by seeing people being unkind. It hurts me as if it were happening to me, I feel it so deeply. It’s just who I am. I don’t have a switch that I can turn on and off with regards to care.

This comes directly from my Gran: I distinctly remember her, several times, getting so upset by something she’d seen, she’d cry (small, soft tears to herself) and would be so concerned, she’d have to get involved, whatever the cost to herself. One time, we were in the market. She saw a mother shouting at her little daughter, pulling her along, fair launching in to this beautiful little girl. My Gran ran across to where they were and said, lightheartedly, to the Mum, “Calm down, you’re in such a rush, calm down, let your daughter get her breath”. The woman then launched in to a tirade against my Gran, swearing, telling her not to “…stick your nose in it, lady”.

My Gran bent down, eye to eye with the little girl and offered her a sweet (my sweet, but I wasn’t worried, I knew she was showing me something important, I was in awe). The little girl stretched out her hand, timidly, and took the sweet. The mother started shouting again, that my Gran had no business doing that, no business rewarding her daughter’s bad behaviour. My Gran – serenely – replied, “You have no business showing your daughter your bad behaviour. You should think a little more about that” and she walked off. A stall holder, who’d seen everything that happened, raced across to my Gran, “You care too much, you do, that’s your problem, you care too much”.

I don’t think it’s possible to care too much. It’s possible to misplace how you direct your care, but caring too much, I don’t think so.

I actually think the opposite. It’s because we don’t care enough that bad things are allowed to happen, to propagate, to multiply, to take over. If more people spoke up when they see – feel – injustices, perhaps, over time, there’d be fewer injustices. If people cared enough to not be horrible or unkind or to let their unkind thoughts out in to the world, then the world would be that much brighter, that much more bearable for those who are at the mercy of these unkind thoughts and words. Caring, kindness, after all, starts at home. With yourself.

I’m a hopeless romantic but I’m also realistic: I know this is ‘pie in the sky’ thinking but I love to imagine. A world where everyone cares enough, where everyone can bloom because their environment is kind, not hostile, because their surroundings allow them to believe in possibility, infinite possibilities.

Wouldn’t that be simply wonderful?

Heavenly.

Heaven-like.

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26 thoughts on “31 days of moving on: Day 10 – Care

  1. Amy says:

    Beautiful story about your gran! What a wise woman.

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  2. jerralea says:

    I don’t think you can care too much. I agree with you that too often in today’s world people don’t care enough.

    Good for your gran on sticking up for the little girl! I hope that lady went home and considered her bad behavior and made a change.

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    • hopecarrart says:

      We have written different but the same version of our take on Care. I refuse to let an ugly world dictate how I treat others. I love the image of your Gran and the young girl, she reminds me of the kindnesses I witnessed by my grandmothers too. There used to be a social consciousness that has been replaced by what is called political correctness. I do not agree with that concept.

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      • iwillbloom says:

        Yes, we used to have a social consciousness, as a society, but I see less and less of it, which is frightening. Where did the cohesion go? And how can we get it back (to restore conscience as well, for you can’t have conscience without cohesion)?

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    • iwillbloom says:

      Thank you for your comment!

      Like

  3. What a beautiful story about your gran. I love that you “inherited” that caring heart from her. I also like how you talk about caring too much vs misdirected caring. I hadn’t thought about that before, but it makes sense. 🙂 May we all take the time to look beyond ourselves, our lives, and genuinely care for others. Thanks for the exhortation!
    (Stopping over from FMF)

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  4. Eva says:

    Your words are wonderful! And your gran sounds like such an amazing woman. I love that she said that woman had no right to show her child her horrible behavior. So very true. I wish a loooot of parents could have had your gran teach them a thing or two, haha!

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  5. Lizelle says:

    I think we are miss directed when we say ‘You care too much’ I think what we are trying to say is ‘You are allowing yourself to be too easy to be taken advantage of by a cruel world. Quickly, hide your hand, they will see all your cards and use them against you’

    Which really means we are making people believe that they are the problem when to problem in fact lies in the selfish ways of this world…

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  6. It’s one of those things that baffles me too, how can there be too much caring? It’s exactly what is wrong with society. People who try to help are vilified while bad behaviour and rudeness is viewed as acceptable. Sometimes the world is unpleasant. Luckily beautiful and caring people like you exist to restore faith in people!

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  7. For people who say I care too much, I say, “Then it’s obvious you don’t care enough.”

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  8. Laura says:

    Your Gran Reminds me so much of my own Grandma, who I miss dearly. Aren’t we the luckiest granddaughters ever? Beautiful post, lovely lady. Your strength shines so brightly. That’s a grand legacy.

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  9. I hear you hun. I am also one of those people who “cares too much”. Unfortunately though we live in a society now where people are mostly too afraid to show they care for fear of being shouted at…you know?! Xx

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  10. kristinkuda says:

    Your Gran reminds me of my own! Such a bold lady. Yours sounds incredible 🙂

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  11. Your Gran was an amazing woman and you are just like her. You’ve survived domestic abuse and now you are on your way to thriving! You are an inspiration Helen, please keep sharing your story with the world. God bless you and your family.

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