FMF: Notice

Joining in with Five Minute Friday: on a Monday. This week’s word:

Notice

Start

I find I’m noticing more. I’ve always been an observant person, so now I feel like I’m spidey-Man. I see so much more because I’m observing, now, with heightened emotions, which makes me notice more, much more. Nuances I didn’t realise existed. Peculiarities I hadn’t noticed. Colours, textures, shapes I never saw before. I feel like I’ve been gifted a new chance at life. And my brain appears to have gone in to sensory overload, trying to make the most of every second, whilst my heart and head try to wring the most meaning – purpose – out of every second, every interaction. I lost so much life, I now feel I’ve got to make up for it. I’m on a mindful chase through the world, eking beauty out of it, sucking it all up, ingesting everything greedily, so hungry I am for beauty. I feel myself so much more sensitive, so much more aware. It’s beautiful, this process, this awakening. I have to remind myself to enjoy it, to enjoy the process as much as the view and the results. For I’m becoming me again. I’m learning who I am all over again. I’m emerging, afresh, to start my life over. This sack full of trauma I carry around, I can feel it getting lighter and lighter every day, as I process each incident. I take my traumas, one by one, out of my sack, and I examine them each – and all – in this different light, this different perspective. I discard them after this examination, chalking them, then, up to experience. Experience, that sage old wisdom I’ve come to love: it’s allowing me to move on stronger, more aware. More alive. More ready for everything life has to throw at me. Walking towards my future with arms open wide, ready to greet the beauty I see there.

End

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18 thoughts on “FMF: Notice

  1. Lizelle says:

    Onward to a future filled with beauty and peace 😀

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  2. Chelsea says:

    So incredibly beautiful and well written as always! So happy that your starting to feel yourself again. It’s crazy I’ve been noticing how quickly life flies by- everyone is always seeing me with kiddos and saying enjoy it, it goes fast- and I want to scream- I Know!!! There’s already a panic about it, and trying to make all these moments and to create and live. Not sure hmwhere I’m going with that- except that that’s what I’ve been noticing, and I so wish it would slow:)

    http://www.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com

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    • iwillbloom says:

      Oh, tell me about it. Time goes so so – too – quick. I want to do so many things with them whilst they’re still children and I just see the time draining away [doesn’t help that I’m here and not where I could be doing lots of interesting things with them :(]….I guess the trick is being mindful about everything….really living in the moment…..(I know that’s been helping me to reduce the ‘panic mode’ moments)…

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  3. Barbara says:

    Love the beautiful picture of all those flowers!! Beautiful – just like the words you shared!! Love it that your “sack full of trauma” is getting lighter and lighter and that you are able to really NOTICE things around you. Thank you for sharing…may you have a blessed week!

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    • iwillbloom says:

      Thank you so much Barbara – I took the photo at an orchid exhibition this weekend, at one of the garden centre stalls (there’ll be lots more photos from the orchid show popping up on my blog in coming weeks!)….thanks so much for your comment xxx

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      • Barbara says:

        I look forward to seeing more of the pictures you took! I love taking floral pictures – and in scrapbooking have learned a very cool, beautiful way of doing them for my scrapbooks – mosaics! Maybe I’ll do a post that highlights the flowers and nature pics I did that way…thanks for sharing!

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      • iwillbloom says:

        Oh, that’s a great idea….I may try to find out about that myself. Thank you…would love to see your photos! [Have a lovely week xxx]

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  4. It sounds like you are in a good place!

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  5. richellelwright says:

    your post makes me wonder about your story! it must be an amazing one – thankful for God’s goodness to you – may you ever notice His infinite grace and goodness.

    also glad to see i wasn’t the only one who waited until monday to get their 5mf post up!

    so glad i was your “neighbor” this week! happy thanksgiving!

    Like

    • iwillbloom says:

      Hah! I usually always try to post on a Friday (it’s one of the highlights of my blogging week but I was so very tired on Friday and all weekend, I just couldn’t manage it!)….thank you for your comment. Much appreciated. Happy Thanksgiving for you, and your family, too…xxx

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  6. hopecarrart says:

    I know that feeling – its almost surreal sometimes, its not always there, but when it is it is magical and all I can say is hold onto each moment and enjoy. These are the times that will help to erase some of the bad stuff. God is sending you a very special message.

    Like

    • iwillbloom says:

      Thanks, Hope. I do feel – increasingly – His presence in my life and I have to say, it is a huge comfort and a huge relief (to know that I’m not totally alone in this!)

      Like

  7. Rachel G says:

    This post made me smile for you. I’m so glad you can now honestly say that you’re gradually feeling “lighter”–you need that!

    Like

  8. Helen, I’m so glad you stopped by my FMF post, so I might have the opportunity to come and read yours. Like another reader, I was intrigued by your story and then inspired when I read your about page. The analogy of unpacking a sack full of trauma and feeling lighter and lighter as you examine the events of your life in a new light, is so beautiful. Praying heaps of blessing upon you and your children as you continue to notice the world in a new way, wringing every drop of meaning and purpose out of it as you can. Big hugs to you!

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