Joining in with Five Minute Friday…on a Saturday! This week’s word….prepare….
I couldn’t have predicted how my life would change in such a short period of time. I think, though, that even if I had been able to, nothing would have prepared me for the shock and hurt, the sheer disorientation that resulted. To have the life you knew whipped from under your feet, to have everything familiar – your roots – denied to you through the inhuman acts of someone who had committed to a life with you??? Your heart, it’s ripped out of your chest, trampled on repeatedly then stuffed back, dirty, bleeding, hurting, aching for love, for respite, for peace. Then to face repeated abuses following the isolation…it’s hard to see, now, how my trampled heart survived so many beatings, so many lashings. But survive it did. And thrive, actually. Life is meant to survive, you see.
Once you’re out of the abusive situation, the trauma lives with you – a constant but unwelcome companion – but you’re safe, you’re free to be once again. Free to nurture those parts of you that need care, for them to be able to repair, to heal and to grow again. A preparation for a new life. A Spring. Hope-filled. The buds forming, ready to open again, ready for you to shine as you should always have been allowed to shine. For you were made to shine.
You find, somehow find, that life is bountiful, is kind, is everything you knew it was, and more. A stark contrast to how you’d been forced to live, the contrast highlighting even more strongly the wrong, the need to live in the light, the need to nurture, to listen to your body, to listen to your heart, to follow it’s callings. The whole process teaches you to surrender, to give yourself to life, to love, to kindness, to dreams and dreaming. There’s no time to lose, you see.
So you dedicate yourself to dreaming, to planning, to preparing the life you see (the life you feel is destined when you close your eyes and hear your heart), the life you see that feels so real you know, in your heart of hearts, it is there, waiting for you. You used to hear of God’s plans, of the power of surrender, and it made no sense to you. But now it does. You’ve lived it, you’re living it. Surrender, use your gifts, use it all up. Die empty because the life you’ll create will allow you to use every last bit of goodness you have. Don’t hold back on love, don’t hold back on kind, love it all, love them all. Life is showing you the way. Listen. Act. Enjoy. Repeat.