FMF: easy

Joining in with Five Minute Friday. This week’s word: easy.

Contentment6

START

“Mama, I don’t want to do it” she frowns, “I just don’t want to…” and, with that, she throws her pencil down on the desk and stumbles off, running towards her room, crying.

It’s not normal behaviour for her, at all, so I leave her for a while (I can hear her talking to her dolls) and then I go and see how she is. “It’s the teacher, Mama…she makes everything seem so difficult“.

My little girl isn’t someone who finds things difficult and I don’t like the idea of anyone putting ideas in her mind, that she’s somehow not able to understand something or not able to do something.

[I realise there will be things in her life that she can’t do but I don’t need someone putting limits on my girl’s beliefs in herself at this stage of her life, especially not a teacher that’s not taken the time to understand and find the way to get through to my child].

So now, through the careless words of one silly teacher, my littlest little one, my beautiful, open-hearted, open-minded and carefree girl, has been introduced to the concept of ‘it’s not easy’ and ‘you might find this difficult’.

Yes, things are sometimes not easy. Yes, life is hard. But everything’s going to be a whole lot harder, a whole lot more difficult – a whole lot more likely to fail – if we approach it with the mindset of can’t or might fail. 

Easy very rarely teaches us anything of value and if we begin something difficult – anything difficult – with the ‘Can’t….it’s not easy….it might be difficult’ mindset, our mind will be so closed that we won’t learn the lessons that the journey towards completing the difficult task could, potentially, teach us. The stress and lack of self-belief would cloud any learning that might occur during the journey.

Perspective is everything.

END

Helen

P.S. I’d be really grateful if you’d take a few minutes to fill out my survey here: about the future of I Will Bloom. The original post is hereThanks so much!

P.P.S. Check out Michelle’s post for my Contentment series….it’s here…definitely worth a click through!

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30 thoughts on “FMF: easy

  1. Tara says:

    It truly is a lesson of life, isn’t it? Perspective is truly everything. I’m over in the #6 spot.

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  2. “Easy very rarely teaches us anything of value and if we begin something difficult – anything difficult – with the ‘Can’t….it’s not easy….it might be difficult’ mindset, our mind will be so closed that we won’t learn the lessons that the journey towards completing the difficult task could, potentially, teach us. The stress and lack of self-belief would cloud any learning that might occur during the journey.” Thank you for this helpful and powerful reminder, Helen. Visiting from FMF.

    Like

  3. Love this! If my oldest (she’s three) is struggling with something, we remind her that some things are hard for one person but two people can do it together, and praise her for overcoming hard things (alone, or with help). Hard is healthy – but only if it’s presented as a challenge to be overcome, not as a reason to sit down and quit.

    Liked by 1 person

    • iwillbloom says:

      Hi Sarah Jo, love the teaching that when it’s hard two people can. Here’s to not teaching them to just sit down and quit…..have a great day and a lovely weekend! Helen xx

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  4. Helen, I am with you on this. I always loathed trainers who told me how hard something was. They were playing to their own inflated egos.

    When I was teaching, I told my students that while I had a PhD, I set a record for the lowest GPA ever to graduate that programme…and that they changed the rules after my Royal Passage to make sure it NEVER happened again.

    The message was…I am a knuckledragger. If I can do this, anyone can.

    XXX

    #1 at FMF this week.

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/04/your-dying-spouse-143-only-easy-day-fmf.html

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  5. Delta says:

    I have been there and send big hugs to you and your daughter! My oldest, well, it was difficult. Teaching her (and myself!) to more positive was a process but truly she has thrived and while it hasn’t been easy, it has been worth it!

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  6. Emily Conrad says:

    You have a great point. As I wrote my own FMF post and as I read some of the others, I got to thinking that if many of us writers had known how long and hard the journey would be, we might’ve gotten scared out of it before we fell in love with using our God-given gift. So, you’re right. Sometimes, it is better to go into something hard without the warning that “this won’t be easy.” I’m your neighbor, spot 8 🙂

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    • iwillbloom says:

      Hi Emily, it’s true, I think….many might have been scared off….but, I think, if you do know it’s your ‘calling’, you hang in there even if things are difficult, even if you have to squeeze it in amongst many other obligations…..if you don’t follow it, it’s part of you you’re suppressing…..and, yes, forging ahead without the ‘this won’t be easy’ warning is sometimes the only option (or am I just very stubborn????!!!)….Helen xx

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  7. Debby says:

    I agree that lessons aren’t learned as well when things are easy. A sad fact but, to approach things with optimism makes the challenge much easier. At least your girl saw this can-do attitude in her home. Made your job a little harder but I’m sure you weren’t daunted at all 😉

    Like

    • iwillbloom says:

      Hia Debby, hah! It did knock me for six a little bit and then my ‘battle stance’ appeared (that I should ask for an appointment with the teacher and give her a piece of my mind) and then she bounced back a little, so, yes, we’re back to optimism now!!! LOL!! Have a GREAT weekend…I absolutely loved your post this week…what a beautiful tribute….Helen xx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sian says:

    I have just left a comment elsewhere about “procrastination” which has me thinking along these lines already. When I was little I found lots of things easy. So I was disappointed in myself the first time I came across something I couldn’t do right first time. And the more times that happened, the more of a procrastinator I became, because I didn’t want to do it unless I could be sure I would get it right first time. I started putting off anything challenging. So I cautiously offer you my take, which is that being warned that something might be difficult is okay IF it comes with plenty of reassurance that two or three or four tries, will help you get there in the end

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    • iwillbloom says:

      Hi Sian, oh absolutely…..it was definitely problematic that it came without that reassurance….poor little I….(I’m also very guilty of putting off challenging things….). Have a lovely weekend….I’m *trying* to leave comments on your blog but can’t….ggggrrrr…Helen xxxx

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  9. Gabriele says:

    Argh! What a lesson for your beautiful little. It is all too soon but all too sure.

    Like

    • iwillbloom says:

      Hi Gabriele, yes, not a nice lesson but one we’re overcoming….I sometimes think teachers, in the busy-ness of their day-to-day bureaucracy, forget what a responsibility they have to the children in their care….(but don’t get me started on the state of formal education…). Have a *great* weekend! Helen xxxx

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  10. No matter your age, perspective IS everything! I have a boy to whom most things come EASY. When it’s hard, he doesn’t want to try for fear of failure. But, it’s in the trying, and sometimes failing, that we learn, isn’t it? I hope your daughter knows the great value of your support for her. I’m sorry her teacher hasn’t taken the time to really know her. That’s challenging to see as a mom. May God continue to give you wisdom to know how to encourage your girl as she navigates school. 🙂

    Have a great weekend, my friend!

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  11. Joy Lenton says:

    Oh you don’t know how many times this has stopped me in my tracks: “everything’s going to be a whole lot harder, a whole lot more difficult – a whole lot more likely to fail – if we approach it with the mindset of can’t or might fail.” because of a very real fear of failure, a crisis of confidence and a leaning toward negativity. But God… has been teaching me to overcome early conditioning and lean harder toward His grace and enabling in all things. Thanks, Helen! Xx ❤

    Like

    • iwillbloom says:

      Joy, I do think that we sometimes need to just fall in to the trust and believe that things will be enabled. (Or so I’m learning). Hoping you’re feeling better…..we had another weekend of illness and I slipped in the bathroom on Monday morning, so am in severe pain in my head/neck and shoulder 😦 Not nice. At all…..Helen xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Lenton says:

        Helen, I clicked ‘liked’ in response to your reply about falling into trust, not the rest of your comment about events on Monday morning. Ouch!! So sorry to hear you’ve had a bad fall and are suffering from severe pain. Not nice at all. Poor you :/ Praying for for the pain to recede and for you to be able to rest and recover quickly. Sending gentle ((hugs)). Xox ❤

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      • iwillbloom says:

        Thanks, Joy: your gentle hugs are most welcome (the worst bit has definitely been not being able to cuddle my littles properly 😦 😦 😦 Helen xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Carly says:

    Perspective is so important and approaching things with a positive attitude can make a big difference. It’s so important to help children believe in themselves and to keep going when things are difficult.

    Like

    • iwillbloom says:

      Hi Carly, yes: the positivity is so important. Words become things and all that…! And, yes, the most important thing as a responsible adult around parents is never damaging that belief that children innately have in themselves…..(in my humble opinion!)…

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Kath says:

    Thanks for the reminder that it’s very important what we say, especially when we are someone significant in a child’s life, that we can give someone a perspective that’s hard to change and hard to get past.

    Like

    • iwillbloom says:

      Hi Kath, it’s so important, isn’t it, to always guard our words, especially around children. Thanks for taking the time to read and to leave a comment….Helen

      Like

  14. Oh that’s terrible. Especially since as a child – she would be looking up to her teacher and really valuing her opinion. Thank goodness she has such a wonderful and caring Mother to protective her and let her know her true gifts and value!!

    Hope all is well with you All and wishing you blessings on this week ahead dear Helen! xoxo

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    • iwillbloom says:

      Hia Carrie, it was all a bit difficult, unfortunately….we’re all OK (now: after two weeks of illness plaguing our home), although I slipped in the bathroom on Monday and have hurt my head/neck and shoulder, so everything’s a bit painful still 😦 Here’s to a great rest of the week for you and yours, Helen xxx

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